Here’s one last post from my time in Paris, so you guys are now up to speed on everything I wore, but there was another side to my trip which I wanted to discuss. September was obviously an amazing month for me, I got married and the excitement around the wedding pretty much consumed me for the entire month. But if we take a step back to August, the month I turned 30. I struggled with this month, in all honesty I struggled with turning 30, and this was way more than I let on. In actual fact I had a slight breakdown, this was not good. I think the wedding saved me as it distracted my attention away from my age but when it came time for the wedding buzz to fade and normal life to ensue, well heading off to Paris (normal eh?!) I began thinking about age and assessing life once more. Now I must add, when I say life, I mean work. Work is my life, my blog is my life and I’m not afraid to admit that I am consumed by it and as I’ve mentioned before I struggle to switch off. I head off to Paris with excitement about Fashion Week but with an uprising of uncertainty about who I am and where I wanted to go. This wasn’t my first visit to Paris, I’ve been plenty of times but I do love that city, despite it’s uncleanliness and the rudeness that awaits most British people, I find it to be one of the most inspiring cities.
I wasn’t alone in this trip, as most of you know if you followed along on social media I went with my blogger bestie Claire, also a fellow blogger and excellent picture taker. Our friendship took about a year to blossom but I can honestly say that I trust her implicitly and I am 100% there to support her and vice versa. We often go out to dinner or lunch and sit in complete silence while we check emails and social media but we have that friendship that has an understanding and it works so well because we are both in the same field, we both ‘get’ each other. She’s there for me to vent at when I have something that needs venting, she gives it to me real, no filters, and she is there for the most important of high end purchases 😉 More often than not she’s there to encourage them! Claire is the best friend I could hope for in this crazy industry and this was our first trip away together and it’s safe to say, it set our friendship in stone.
If you follow me on Instagram you might have noticed a slight change in my feed, it’s darker and slightly more grunge to the bright and airy feed you may have been used to. I feel as though I owe you a bit of an explanation as to why it took a sudden change and this is where I delve into the unpleasant side of the blogging world. Copy cats are existent all through life, at school, at work, even within your friendship group, and sometimes this can be flattering but more often that not it just plain pisses you off. I know many other bloggers have covered this topic before, my friend Lydia being one of them, but it really can eat away at you. Granted half the time these people don’t even realise they are doing it, some people lack in creativity and simply absorb others’, but it’s the notion that what if they are completely aware of what they are doing? That’s what I can’t handle, because when you have worked your ass off for 8 years + establishing something which is utterly personal to you and then some people swoop in and ‘borrow’ ideas which you’ve spent hours researching and claim them as their own, it can be seriously disheartening. What’s worse is when you guys, brands and fellow bloggers start to notice these ‘similarities’ and ask ‘Doesn’t it bother you?’. I hate confrontation, and I don’t want any bad blood, I prefer the ignore it and it will go away approach, but in the end I decided to change a few things, for myself and in this new state of mind. There are so many bloggers out there, there will definitely be similarities in the look and feel of their blogs, their Instagrams and even their style, so in no way am I claiming that I am unlike anyone else there ever was…but I am claiming that I am 100% me.
Something happened in Paris, that I can’t explain, but when I got home I got my shit together and used this mental clarity to plan out exactly where I wanted to head. The bonus of being 30 is that I have experience and now having accepted this age I have the confidence to use this to my advantage. I’m a great little businesswoman but it seems I’d forgotten how to channel this, but since getting home I’ve brought my A-Game to each and every day and without giving anything away (copy cats are still at bay haha!), it’s working a treat and I’m so excited for the future!
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